Thank you for being a friend

Good morning, readers. Apologies for the lack of blog yesterday. As an apology, I do have a special treat for you. A guest blog from the awesome and witty Ms. Kathy Iandoli! That's right -- a blog written by someone that is an actual writer! If I knew how to plug all the other cool stuff she has written (including her hilarious tweets) I would, but I am still new to this whole blogger thing :( I'm sure you can use the Google, so please read her stuff.  She's awesome.

Faces on calf tats. It takes the "eyes in the back of your head"

notion about 60 inches lower, with a mug resting comfortably on the

gastrocnemius, staring at passers-by as its owner faces the opposite

direction. It's a little disconcerting (okay, a lot disconcerting)

that someone would want a face on the back of their leg (especially if

it doesn't talk). Let's add insult to leg injury and add four faces.

The Golden Girls. The Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John of Miami Senior

Living. The Paleolithic Era of Sex & the City. The Sisterhood of the

Traveling Polyester Slacks. I could go on. But I won't.

Let's address the elephant in the room first: yes, they all look dead

in this tattoo, and considering 3/4 of them are, it's rather insulting

that even Rose Nylund looks like she's no longer "with us." Dorothy

Zbornak has red eyes, Blanche Devereaux has red hair, it's all so

confusing. The only one who really looks like she's having a good time

is Sophia Petrillo, and her head looks like it was superimposed on top

of a green inkblot. It's not very neighborly, even for a place like

Miami where people are currently eating each others' faces.

What would even possess someone to take their favorite TV gals and

place them on their calf? Chances are this tattoo is off a man's leg,

so what the hell is he thinking (though a girl with this tattoo might

be even more terrifying). You must be one really passionate Golden

Girls fan to do something like this. Then the question arises of when

this inking occurred. Was it during the show ("Oh I just can't get

enough of their antics!"), after the show ("How will I live without

them?"), or, God forbid during the 3 days of The Golden Palace ("Shit

if they think that bootleg spinoff will ever come close to Dorothy and

them, they are mis.tak.en").

So do you, like, cross your legs and stare at the girls? Like, what

even happens after you get this tattoo? Do you flex your muscle and

watch them shake their heads in unison while you sing the theme song?

What happens next? I'll tell you what happens next. You get it removed

because the show comes on Lifetime every 15 minutes, and you realize

it was a terrible mistake to put four women on your leg that you'll be

seeing every day of your goddamn life. The Golden Girls are immortal.

Your tattoo and dignity, are not.